life, or what you will

:blows dust off the blog:

Just tidying up, folks!

Still have not gotten on here to post. But it’s already 11:11 tonight.

*makes mental note to post… tomorrow?*

Thank God for weekends because teaching would certainly be unbearable without them. My chosen profession requires a lot of – how does one say it – patience? Somehow that just does not sum it up. I am simply amazed by how sheerly stupid, (and I do mean stupid), adolescent human beings can be. In any case, I can describe my experience with certain idiotic teens at a later time.

Happier subject: Fatherhood grows ever closer for me. My joy is compounded by knowing that little Asher’s arrival can only serve to grow my wife and I closer in our relationship. Our little trio is going to be so much fun. I am not one of those blind optimists, however. I do know an infant is tons of work, but it will be more than worth it. In the weeks ahead, wifey and I will be preparing our home for the little guy and all his curiosity. Lots of little projects to be tackled: the work before the work. It is great fun though. Home improvement always gives me a great sense of accomplishment and I rarely take on a job around the house that does not have a practical benefit for myself or the rest of the family.

Great times await, but for now I will enjoy my well-deserved weekend away from my little hormone-drunk hoodlums.

Okay. I haven’t had a “nightmare” in a very long time, but the dream I had the other night was about as close as you can come without heading into the Nightmare on Elm Street category.

Asher was a newborn. I don’t remember lots of details about what he looked like, but then again, babies still look pretty much the same to me. Anyway, not the point. The point was that he was wailing his little head off and I knew he had to eat. We were at my grandmother’s, though, and I didn’t want to whip my booby out in front of everyone, so I went upstairs.

Apparently this was my first attempt at breastfeeding, because I simply COULD NOT DO IT. I was trying to maneuver Asher and maneuver myself and doing all sorts of stuff with different angles, but he couldn’t, er, latch on, so he kept crying his little heart out. Then I started crying because I am at this point officially the worst mother ever. Well, except for mothers who leave their babies in trash cans and stuff. I’m the worst mother that gives a damn ever.

AND THEN, as if this is not bad enough, my grandmother swings open the upstairs door and is staring at me in all of my exposed glory, and she tells me I’m doing it wrong. I am now humiliated on two fronts: I cannot feed my own baby, and my grandmother saw my naked chest (I’m modest about these things).

She takes Asher and lays him on the ground on his back, and then she tells me that I’m supposed to get on my knees and, like, lean over him. All the while I’m thinking, “surely this isn’t right.”

That’s when I woke up.

You know you’re in a different place in life when this is the crap your dreams are made of. Oy.

So I lied. Sort of. I said “the weekend.” I didn’t specify which one. Right?

One thing I hate about periods of non-blogging is that SO MUCH happens in the meantime that I’m tempted to just write, “man, a lot has happened. brief description a. brief description b. brief description c.”

/end post

So I will focus on the most recent only: unemployment.

Now, I had planned on staying home with Asher when he was born anyway, so it’s not like the lack of a job throws an insurmountable monkeywrench into my life. I did, however, plan on working until early May, so my budgeting skills are being put to use a bit sooner than I’d anticipated. That’s the only real impact. Because as much as I hesitate to admit it… ::looks around, then whispers quietly:: … I like being at home. I like being able to focus solely on keeping my home in order and being ready to serve the hubby when he comes home from work. I like spending time with the animals during the day and not having to lock Sebastian in his crate for 9 hours. I like the peace. And when Asher gets here… well, that will be a whole new world, but I’m sure I’ll like that, too.

So, what happened, you might ask? Well, it starts with an e-mail, and it ends with another. Rather than go through and explain the whole bit, let me just copy and paste for your reading pleasure:

[insert owner's name],

The items you have requested will be done on Tuesday when I return to work.

I am going to take this opportunity to address some things that have been weighing on my mind. Over the course of the last month or so, it has become increasingly difficult to come to work and maintain a positive attitude. It seems that the financial situation of the various companies has caused you to act as a completely different person. You are asking me to do more than you ever have before, in less time. This in itself is not as problematic as the overarching issue: where I used to feel appreciated and valued, I now am certain that this is not the case. The things I do are no longer commended or taken note of; I am simply given instruction and then hear nothing upon completion of the task. Whether you are aware of this or not, this type of attitude toward an employee is both frustrating and hurtful, especially when it is in contrast to how things used to be. The feeling of being de-valued is only compounded by the fact that you have cut every current employee’s hours and laid one person off in order to bring in someone new. This same person is now the reason that you have revoked your offer to allow me to work part-time from home after my son is born. Does our merit with you only last until we can be replaced?

The fact that a declining rent roll can cause you to treat us all so differently than you once did is more disheartening than you can possibly know. I understand that this is a business and a business has a bottom line, but did it ever occur to you that you could handle this situation differently? That perhaps your employees might have solutions and insight into the present situation? I assure you that we do – it might not be “the answer” to everything, but at the very least it would be a perspective different than your own. But I don’t feel that I can genuinely talk to you anymore, and my guess is that I am not alone. I doubt this is the environment that you intended to create with us, but it is our present reality.

Christ valued people above everything else on this earth. You can take whatever stance you feel necessary, but you will not convince me otherwise. No one here is failing in their position and asking for unmerited grace – we all work very hard to get the job done. As a follower of Christ, you have a responsibility to the people whose lives you impact. We just want you to appreciate what we do and have confidence that we are valued and our efforts are not un-noticed. I know you value the job and not the person, and while this makes sense monetarily, if you want to maintain a peaceful environment, you have to place value on the person. That’s not my opinion – it’s biblical truth.

I hope you will at least take these things into consideration.

-C

I think the e-mail pretty much says it all. He was acting horribly, and EVERYBODY was suffering under it. You might think I had no place to say anything, but that’s where Christ comes in. As Christians, we’re required to bring things to light that our brothers and sisters might not see. I know it doesn’t always work that way in the secular world, but it’s standard operation in the kingdom. And the owner has always touted his position in Christ, ergo, he’s asking for rebuke when he’s in the wrong. And my e-mail to him was far from harsh. I had it proofread before I sent it just to be sure.

Anyway.

This was his response:

C,

Thank you for your openness and honesty. I also appreciate your opinion. I am making decisions that are necessary and some may not make sense and most will not be agreed with or understood. I may have seemed a bit different this month because I have to do things and make decisions concerning our environment that I have never had to address before. I have been in thought and prayer as I am walking and working. I do want to make sure that I make good sound decisions. Thanks for your prayers concerning these things.

I do appreciate you and I have told you and do tell you that I appreciate you. It may not be how you desire it to be done but the truth is I do and have appreciated you.

The changes that I am making are tough. The decisions are based on what is best for the people if you agree or not. I can not answer or explain what you understand related to one employee being laid off. I can say that she offered being laid off as an alternative to having hours cut. I took her option.

I am concerned at the choices that are being made by the employees and by you in regards to the work schedule and requirements. I planned to have a meeting today to go over everything with how it affects the company and each individual. It seems that when I communicate and give instruction that the end result is not what is communicated. I have said clearly that the
schedule will be handled by me and that if there is time off or adjustments they need to be cleared by me.

I appreciate you taking the courage and time to share your feelings regarding the changes and your feelings about your job. I was not given the information and the desire for you to work part time after delivery of your baby. You told me 2 weeks ago that you would not be returning to work and that May 7th was your last day. I respect your desire to go home and raise your child. I was not informed about the desire to work part time. I have made and will continue to make decisions so I can get all tasks accomplished.

I am also unsure of how I can run a company when the employees are doing as they want when they want to do it. The environment that I have tried so hard to establish is a work environment where the employee is valued, appreciated, and is structured where you should work to live and not live to work.

I am grieved that you do not like coming in and that you have drawn a conclusion to my decisions with out understanding the whole situation. I also have appreciated your sharing with me the concerns around how others have stepped over the line in regards to doing their own thing and not complying with direct instructions that I have given.

I am certain that at this juncture I have to make more decisions that are difficult and painful. I have appreciated and counted on your attention to detail, your speediness in getting the job done and the excellence in which you have approached the tasks. I am not pleased that I am in a spot as an employer where I am working around your desire to come to work or not. The day to day function of the company is affected by such decisions. I can not continue your employment at this time because of the choices that you have made.

I do need the passwords to the company computer. I know that you have chosen to provide that on Tuesday but I really needed it on Friday when I asked for it.

What I will do is have your check for all the time worked in this new pay period available to you when you bring me your key to the office. I do need the passwords to all computer applications as well.

I am also reminded of a parable where the vineyard owner hired people to work at different times of the day and he rewarded them based on his choice and them agreeing to work. A laborer is worthy of their hire and I have to stand on my position of not employing those that decide when they come to work and when they do not.

::perplexed look::

Please note: he had told us the week prior that our hours were being cut to 32. He discussed which day I wanted off, and I suggested Monday. He said OK. End of story. I did not go in on Monday. Nor did he try to call. Everyone in the office knew why I wasn’t there, but he did not even attempt to get in touch and say “I think there’s been some miscommunication…” Nothing. So I stayed home.

What this says to me is that my firing has very little to do with my not being there and an awful lot to do with the fact that I said some things he did not want to hear. Even the unemployment lady laughed when I told her the story. Now that says something.

So why am I okay with all of this? Well, he has someone much higher to answer to than I, and I can rest assured that he will be faced with the consequences of his actions. I’m disappointed and a bit bewildered at his childish behavior, as well as being a bit annoyed, but I’m not upset in the angry sense. Maybe slightly bitter, if I’m honest. But alas, life goes on.

And on that note, I have some laundry to do.

If you would like to read his e-mail with my FULL commentary, just click MORE.

(more…)

I intend to make my way back to the online sphere. This site has fallen by the wayside as priorities have shifted and life has taken on a new dimension. There’s so much going on right now, none of which I can do justice running on only two hours of sleep. Give me until the weekend, and I will fill you in on what has happened over the past couple of months.

Now, enter sleep.

I’d like to think that I don’t fall into them, but I’m sure I do. In general, I’m conservative in my approach to the government – that is, the less they have their hands in things, the happier I am.

BUT…

There is this part of me that’s a sucker for sleek campaigning, and I can’t help but want a “Barack the Vote” shirt. I mean, how cool is that?

Damn you and your catchy slogans.

I want everyone to know that Mat Kearney rocks. That is all.